A Very Straw Hat Halloween 2019
by turnip-king
Summary: There's only one night a year where ghouls, goblins, demons, and ghosts prowl the earth with reckless abandon; Halloween, of course! But it's the Straw Hats everyone watches out for the other 364 days a year. Rated T for swear words, please pass over if you have delicate ears.


It was peaceful moments like these Anisa truly cherished. The sun was warm and inviting, the ocean wasn't pitching the Sunny into vomit-inducing angles. No navy ships near to lob cannonballs at them, and not a single yonko wanted their heads on a spike. For now,…that they know of….

Yes, life was splendid on the thousand Sunny. Nami lay stretched out on a lounge chair, perusing a stack of magazines and basking in the afternoon sun. Robin and Anisa shared a wide umbrella; reading, sewing, and trading conspiracy theories they had found in the latest newspapers. Zoro was nowhere in sight; napping or training was the best guess. Brook and Chopper took turns steering the Sunny, there conversations and laughs drifted across the deck. Luffy swung from mast to mast to burn his endless energy. Excited whoops and hollers of adventure, treasure, and _meat_ were carried with the wind. Sanji was already preparing dinner, something fantastic and yummy by the smell of it. Franky and Usopp were below deck, fiddling and designing new gadgets and doodads, no doubt. Anisa couldn't help but worry when things got too quiet with those two. She stopped her sewing as cold sweat ran down her neck; quiet with any of the Straw Hats was _never_ a good sign.

"Hey, Anisa, what do you want to do for your birthday? We should be near an island around then."

Nami's playful question pulled both women from their current preoccupations.

"Yes, Anisa, we should do something fun."

Robin's kind words only validated Nami's playful ones. The soon to be birthday girl blinked her big brown eyes in thought; what _did_ she want to do for her birthday?

"Birthday? Who's Birthday?! SANJI, BIRTHDAY FEAST, PRONTO!" Luffy materialized out of nowhere, totally dismayed at the thought of missing a chance for a feast. Not on his watch! Luffy was many things, but a neglector of feasts (or birthdays) was not one of them.

"YOHOHO, I love a good party. When should I mark my calendar?"

Chopper bobbed his head in agreement with brook's statement. Their newest crewmember was a shy and quiet one, choosing to stay back and observe, rather than charge headfirst into anything. Both Nami and Robin welcomed the quiet soul with open arms, a refreshing change from the rowdy, aggravating heathens already on board.

_ 'Yes, a birthday celebration would do her good; for everyone perhaps.'_ The lithe skeleton surmised

"SHUT IT, I WASN'T ASKING EITHER OF YOU!"

Nami began to roll the thickest magazine she could grab, eager to swat the noisy insects out of orbit. Luffy giggled, already out of range when Nami stood from her lounge. Brook hurriedly returned to his original task.

"Please don't hurt me, Ms. Nami, I'm steering The Sunny. I'm also… **with child**."

Chopper, the 'child,' nodded his head with such quickness anyone else would have gotten whiplash.

"WHEN YOU SAY SHIT LIKE THAT, YOU LOSE STEERING PRIVILEGES!"

"Scary lady, bad words! Scary lady, bad words!"

Chopper was graced with enough luck and speed to be spared this beating. Brook had neither such things.

Robin couldn't find an ounce pity for Brook at the moment. Anisa felt a little pity for the singing skeleton. That magazine Nami wielded, unrolled, had a girth unlike any other she'd seen. The seamstress didn't want to imagine what was liable to happen when rolled and wielded with the fury a woman like Nami possessed.

"Shishishi, sorry, Brook, you're on your own this time."

Luffy called out from the railing of the observation deck, totally safe from Nami's wrath. For now.

"It's all fun and games till your staring at the business end of a magazine."

The little reindeer puffed as he squirmed himself onto robin's lap; clearly, the safest place to be.

"Please, Ms. Nami, I didn't mean anything by it. It was a silly joke! Yoho-_NOOO_"

"Your birthday Anisa; Any ideas?"

It was better the three of them ignore what was happening. It was what Brook would do for them.

"You're birthdays on Halloween, right? That's so cool! All that candy, and dressing up, and getting the pants scared off you. And Candy!"

Chopper's little eyes couldn't bug out of his head any further. The mere thought of how many candies and sweets were available by having a birthday on Halloween was unfathomable. It was only possible for those with blessed birthdays like Anisa. She had the unicorn of birthdays. _**NO**_, the double rainbow of birthdays.

"Hmm… I'm not sure. I haven't really put much thought into it."

The sewing woman's blasé answer had thrown the present Straw Hats for a loop(especially Chopper); who didn't know what they wanted to do for their birthday?!

"YOU CAN'T BE TELLING THE TRUTH!"

Anisa's convinced she should be worried at their doctor's sudden mood swings; but, Robins calm demeanor suggested otherwise.

"Seriously, you don't have a single idea?"

Anisa's nonchalant response surprised Nami so much, she chose to stop beating the skeleton to scrutinize this mystery. Even Brook roused from his semi-conscious state to listen in. The seamstress suddenly felt very self-conscious as four pairs of eyes waited for further explanation.

"We-well… birthdays come every year, so I really don't mind if some slip by. I don't think they're very special, you know?"

The blank stares she received did not know or feel the same way. Her palms suddenly became very sweaty as she carefully chose her words.

"I mean, don't get me wrong! If we're near an island, I wouldn't mind going for a few drinks!"

"Did someone say drinks?"

God bless Zoro and his impeccable timing.

"Mazel Tov Zoro, you've been tapped in; please, handle this."

Anisa's erratic gestures to the other pirates did little to tell the clueless swordsman what needed to be handled. More importantly, who or what is a Mazel Tov?

The clammy woman clutched her sewing project to her chest and got the hell off the lawn. Zoro pointed at the dust trail she left, in hopes of being clued in to what the hell was going on.

"What happened? Did we say something bad?"

Chopper looked to Robin for answers. He was the most confused out of the bunch; they were just talking about birthdays (and candies), but then Anisa got upset and left in a hurry. Does she not like candy? Maybe she hated getting scared….

"Did you hear? She said, 'birthdays weren't important.'?"

Nami ground out, her full attention now turned to the issue at hand. Birthdays, next to Christmas, were the most important day in anyone's life. It was a proclamation of how far you've come. A testament to all the things you've experienced in a year's time. It was also the day people happily gave you stuff!

"Everybody huddle up! I've got a plan."

Nami dragged Brook back to Robin and Chopper to organize what was gonna be the best birthday Anisa ever had! Zoro, still clueless, turned in haste, hoping to be excluded from this steaming pile of nonsense.

"Tres Fleur"

Three arms sprouted on the deck, stopping the first mate's momentum entirely.

"Oh, come on, don't involve me in this!"

"I don't think so, Zoro. A crew that lives together plots together; now, this is what we need-"

Operation Birthday Bash was a go!

ooooooooooooooooooo

Soon after Zoro 'joined,' Franky and Usopp had come to investigate who, or what, had screamed bloody murder and gladly stayed for the SSBB meeting (Secret Surprise Birthday Bash or Super Surprise Birthday Bash, if you asked Franky). The first topic of discussion was about what to do with their rubber mouth captain. Luffy, with all his good qualities and intentions, couldn't keep a secret even if his life depended on it. The straw hats could count on one hand how long it'd take for Luffy to spoil this surprise.

Brook suggested no one tell Luffy about the plan. Zoro and Usopp felt a sort of way about actively lying to the captain.

"Don't think of it as lying, think of it as _excluding_ Luffy. "

Leave it to Franky to seek the positive in all situations. Nami nodded in agreement with the cyborg. Lying to your captain was slimy; but, excluding him was entirely different. When he heard it like that, Usopp didn't feel too bad, _excluding_ Luffy.

"Maybe if we're patient, and use really small words, Luffy would understand."

Chopper's sincerity earned himself a gentle pat and smile from robin and had brought her a moment of joy to an otherwise serious, spontaneous, meeting.

Robin had suggested that Chopper drug Luffy for the remaining time between now and the party. Everyone felt a certain way about _drugging_ the captain.

"Leave it to me, I'll make him understand."

Nami, quite menacingly, tapped her rolled paper club in the palm on her hand. Brook's sudden shaking and Chopper's nervousness piqued everyone's interest.

"Che, what are you gonna do; read Luffy into submission? Jesus, why don't we just sing to hi-"

"Don't question me!" The sound of Zoro's skull knocking against The Sunny sent chills down Usopp and Franky's back.

Robin liked this idea too.

ooooooooooooooooooo

_'Stupid witch, and her dumb plans. Fuck her magazines too!'_

The goose egg on top of his head throbbed worse than most hangovers he had. It caused Zoro to grumble and curse all the way to the galley. A handful of days have passed since there initial meeting, and there weren't many more smoldering glares from Nami he could take.

_'All you need to do is ask Sanji to pick up some pumpkins when we're docked in a few days. It's sooo simple, Zoro, even you can't screw this up.'_

How dare she, a number three, order him around, a number two; the Insolence! He could feel the lump on his head pulsate every time he thought about turning around to hunker down for a nap.

He was already at the mess hall's entrance before he finished his internal dilemma.

_'Stupid number three and her stupid schemes! Damn magazines, I don't need to be here! She isn't the captain; she ain't the boss of me!'_

A sudden crash and jostling brought Zoro back to reality.

"Oops, sorry about that. Oh! hey Zoro."

Oh great, it's the one person he's been actively avoiding. Much like Robin, Anisa's proclivity to sleuth out lies and uncover secrets had become the second major obstruction to this slapdash surprise party plan. He considered himself one of the craftier members of this crew; nevertheless, Zoro worried Anisa would sleuth him out.

_'Great, Usopp said she was in the aquarium; why is she up here?!' _

"Yo."

Zoro cleared his throat to dispel his nervous jitters.

_'If you blow this, Nami will NEVER let you live this down; time to put up or shut up!_' He hoped his pep talk killed whatever jitters were left.

"Is curly-brow in there_?" _

For a moment, Zoro honestly believed he'd get through this encounter; Anisa none the wiser.

"Hm, Sanji? Yeah, he's getting ready for the shopping trip."

_'Wonderful and timely.'_ Zoro wanted to relax but worried she'd read into it.

"Ah, cool, see you around."

Zoro, for all intents and purposes, was in the home stretch. Just a few feet and he'd be-

"Hey, Zoro, do you have a second?" Fuck.

_'FUCK.'_

_"_Yeah, sure, what's-what's up?"_ 'No, no, no, play it cool, a question or two won't hurt.'_

Anisa stared long and hard at Zoro, weighing which of her questions were worthy of being asked.

_'I swear to god, if that blabbermouth said anything to her, I'll-'_

"Ah, never mind, I'll see you around Zoro. Don't get too lost in town!"

The young woman moved out of Zoro's way and strolled off the ship to explore the markets and shops.

'Zoro seemed a tad jumpy. A little paranoid even, maybe I should seek Robin's advice.'

Zoro wasn't the only crewmember acting strangely out of character. First Chopper's sudden mood shifts, then Usopp and Brook began to cryptically mumble amongst themselves; Luffy's sudden and unsightly red welts that covered his body head to toe, and now Zoro's odd behavior.

Anisa shook her head in worry. Robin's theory of deep-sea, brain-eating, insanity-inducing parasites didn't sound so farfetched after all.

Ooooooooooooooooooo

All Hollow's Eve had brought a tantalizing atmosphere to the Thousand Sunny. Carved pumpkins lay scattered around the deck; their lit faces ranged from jovial jeers to sneery smiles. Stretched gobs of cotton were wrapped around the railings, bare wood turned into a spider's playground for the evening. Even the Straw Hat themselves were decked head to toe in holiday costumes.

The ever-lovely Robin and Nami dressed as a sultry devil and sexy pumpkin witch representatively. Robin held her pitchfork and Nami's candy basket as she orchestrated their motley crew of monsters.

"Let's get going you guys, she's gonna walk out any minute!" Nami hissed as softly as she could.

_'If they ruin this, I swear….' _

It took every ounce of her being not the smack them all with her witch's broom.

Robin giggled as Nami wrangled the rest of the crew into place. It was beyond sweet of Nami to do this; you could tell she cared dearly for the seamstress.

Lycan Usopp sported a grey fur coat and clawed paw gloves as he danced with the pumpkin wizard Chopper, both ready to party this Halloween away. Franky-stein was showing off his limited-edition Halloween gizmos to pumpkin-heads Luffy and Brook; both too enamored to listen to the witch.

"I've arrived, my darling; my sweet Nami!"

Sanji came leaping across the deck; birthday cake and candles in bound. His black and white striped suit glowed in the candle's light; the wide-brimmed pumpkin hat sported heart-shaped eyes just as Sanji did.

"Wonderful Sanji, let's-"

"Sorry, I held everyone up."

Dammit, this would have to do.

The door to the women's room swept open to reveal Anisa, a blue-haired pumpkin scarecrow. Much to her dismay, pieces of straw she had stuffed into the pockets of her patched overall dress had fallen all over the carpet. She'd have to clean that up before Nami noticed.

"Are we ready t-"

She couldn't finish her sentence when she saw everyone standing there, a vision of balloons, presents, and birthday wishes.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANISA!"

Ussop, Chopper, and Franky popped confetti hand cannons her way, dazzling the air with every color of the rainbow.

"Happy Birthday Anisa."

Robin and Nami watched as flecks of color rained down and their friend, they lived for her look of shock and surprise. They had a feeling she's known for some time but appreciated her reaction all the same.

"Happy birthday, Anisa-Swan!"

Anisa felt a lump form in her throat and eyes well with tears. She had a clue they might pull something, even after she told them not to. She didn't have it in her to spoil their hard work; how could she?

"You guys, please don't make me cry, I don't have enough costume makeup to fix what I have one!"

Anisa rushed towards her friends, she was immediately consumed in a group hug.

"That's- that's s-so great little Sis. I'm sorry, I got confetti in my eyes. Happy Birthday!"

Franky turned away to rub his leaky eyes; crying was so unmanly, so uncool.

**"WE LOVE YOU ANISA, THERE'S NO CRYING ON YOUR BIRTHDAY; IT'S A PIRATE LAW!"**

The waterworks spared no one. Luffy wept violently beside Zoro, using the sleeve of his jacket wipe away his tears; and snot.

"What a bunch of wimps, not a drop of alcohol in ya, and you're already blub- OI I'M NOT YOUR TISSUE."

Zoro smacked Luffy upside his pumpkin head with a half-empty bottle of booze. He's nearly certain it didn't make direct contact with his actual head.

"Yeah, yeah, we love you, you love us. Let's get a move on! There'll be no booze left at this rate."

Nami almost couldn't believe Zoro could be so callous; didn't this man have a heart?!

"Nice Zoro, I can't believe you'd ruin a tender moment for some alcohol. You should have been the demon this Halloween!"

Anisa laughed as everyone fell into their usual habits and personalities; this is what she loved about them, these crazy people. Her Family.

"Sanji, let's save the cake for later. We have treats to take, and tricks to give! Hollow's Eve is here!"

Cheers and Shouts filled the chilly night air; Halloween doesn't know what was about to hit it.

_**HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2019 ! :)**_


End file.
